The return to work after parental leave is one of the most quietly destabilizing transitions in modern parent life, and most people don’t talk about how big it actually is.
You are not just adjusting a schedule. You are renegotiating who you are at work, who you are at home, who picks up your child when the daycare calls, what you can let go of, and what you can no longer carry without help. This is the page for the parent who is in that transition or about to be, and who wants a place to work it through with someone who has watched a lot of people do it.
Some of this might sound familiar.
Not a checklist to pass or fail. Just the shapes this tends to take, in case it helps to see them named.
Your leave is ending soon and the dread is bigger than the practical logistics would suggest.
You are already back, and the version of you who left for leave is not who walked back into the office.
You are torn between wanting to be at work and wanting to be home, and you cannot find a way to feel okay in either place.
The guilt of leaving your child for the day is loud, and the guilt of not being fully present at work is loud, and you do not know how to live with both at once.
You and your partner are renegotiating who does what, and the renegotiation is harder than the work itself.
The career that fit before kids does not fit now, and you are not sure what to do with that information.
You want a place to think through the bigger question of who you are at this stage, separate from the practical logistics.
If you see yourself in even one of these, you are in the right place.
What this might feel like
In their own words. Some of what parents say, before they have a name for it.
I am supposed to be excited to go back. I am not excited. I feel sick about it, and I cannot say that out loud at work or at home.
I am at work missing my kid. I am home thinking about work. I am never fully where I am.
I used to be good at my job. I am still good at my job. I am also exhausted in a way that is hard to explain to anyone who is not living this.
How I work with returning to work after parental leave
The work is shaped around the specific transition you are in. Leave ending, just returned, six months back and realizing it is harder than you expected, or considering whether the current arrangement is sustainable at all. We start by getting clear on which of these you are in, because the texture of the work is different for each. The early-return phase is mostly nervous-system regulation and survival logistics. The longer-arc phase is identity work and decision work about what kind of working parent you actually want to be.
The methods are the same trauma-informed, evidence-based modalities I use in other individual work, applied to the return-to-work context. Internal Family Systems for the part of you that wants to be back at work and the part that does not, both of which deserve attention. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for the thoughts about being a bad parent or a bad employee that have started running in the background. Polyvagal-informed work for a nervous system that has spent months in caregiving mode and is being asked to context-switch every day. Attachment-aware perspective for the bond with your child during separation, the partnership renegotiations, and the patterns from your own family about what working parents are supposed to do.
You will not be diagnosed by me. You will not be told to download a productivity app or set up better routines, although those may come up. We will work at the pace your nervous system can hold, and we will be honest about what is yours to change, what is your partner's to change, what is the workplace asking too much, and what is the wider culture asking too much.
Practical details
Sessions and format
50-minute sessions, virtual across Ontario or in person Tuesdays in St. Agatha.
Virtual sessions across Ontario or in person in the Kitchener-Waterloo area. We can talk through which format fits your life on the consult call.
Fees and insurance
A receipt is provided for insurance reimbursement under Social Work Services, and many extended plans cover sessions. You confirm your coverage with your insurer.
For full details on session fees and payment, visit the Fees & Insurance page.
Every new client starts with a free 15-minute phone consultation. Once we have spoken, we will book a time that works for both of us. There is no obligation to continue.
Starting does not have to be complicated.
Book a free consult
A free 15-minute phone call. We talk about what is going on and whether we are the right fit. No obligation to continue.
Find your footing
Once we have spoken, we will book a time that works for both of us. The first sessions are slower and reflective; we get clear on what you are carrying.
Do the work, together
We work at the pace your nervous system can hold, and check in often about what is shifting and what you need next.
Frequently asked questions
No, and starting before is often easier than starting after. The transitions that are anticipated are easier to soften than the transitions that hit you while you are already overwhelmed. Many clients start a few months before their return date, do the bulk of the identity and partnership work in advance, and then use the post-return sessions to fine-tune what is actually showing up versus what they had imagined. If you are still on leave, this is one of the few periods in your life when you have time to think clearly about what you want the next chapter to look like before you are inside it.
Yes, and a lot of clients arrive carrying exactly that question, often without having said it out loud yet. We make room for it. Whether you decide to return, to change your role, to renegotiate hours, to leave that job, or to step away from that career altogether, the work is about helping you make the choice that fits the person you actually are now, not the one you thought you would still be when you set the original career plan in motion. The decision belongs to you. The thinking-through can happen here.
It is both. We do work on the practical pieces (the schedule, the partner conversations, the daycare-pickup logic, the lunches-and-laundry redistribution) because some of what is going wrong is practical and is fixable through real-world changes. We also work on what the practical pieces are sitting on top of (the guilt, the identity questions, the patterns from your own family about who is supposed to do what), because some of what is going wrong is not practical and will not fix until the underneath is addressed. The page-of-the-week is whichever piece is most urgent that week.
Related areas
Many parents working through the return to work after leave are also navigating one or more of the experiences below. The pages cover the most common.
Ready to talk?
Every new client starts with a free 15-minute phone call. We talk about what is going on, what you are hoping for, and whether we are the right fit. No paperwork. No pressure.